Updated: May 27, 2018
I have avoided writing about death. I was too frightening to face it, and then POW! I got sideswiped this week! My beloved cousin, Dean, was recently murdered by his wife!
I see that everything will slip through our fingers, no matter how hard we cling and grasp. Only the Kingdom of God and love remains. In some ways, God met me by some force or power as I looked at my deepest fear. I know that I was under the spell of denial. I was guilty of being dumbfounded by keeping focused on "trifle matters." I have to ask myself why do I fight this hope of eternity and keep it at arm's length? I keep it fenced outside my yard. It is so easy to "stay focused" on the smaller story and loose heart and insensibility to the great story. Is this a "supernatural slumber" while I ignore the all-powerful force of God?
The hope of heaven is indeed right around the corner. Blaise Pascal says: "I am bewildered, dumbfounded. What is this dark enchantment that keeps the human race from facing the inevitable? You cannot protect your hope until you face the inevitable; maturity means living without denial. But we are mainlining denial; we are shooting it straight into our veins. We are grasping at every possible means to avoid the inevitable. We give our hopes to all sorts of kingdom counterfeits and substitutes; we give our hearts over to mere morsels. We mistake the promise of the kingdom for the reality and give our being over to its shadow."
So, today I "raise the white flag" and accept the truth! Restoration is beyond my wildest dreams! But not just for me, this truth of heaven pushes me to tell more people about it! Shout it from the roof tops! We have the secret to a life worth living. Yes! The world is under the bondage of sin and evil. We all face this jaw gaping of uncertainty. The only antidote to this poisonous threat is to draw near to Him. With God's presence we will face uncertainty with perfect Peace! This is beyond our wildest dreams!
So today, I bring God my broken heart, my weakness is exposed. I ask God to "take over! I admit my utter humanity and allow Him to lead. The result is this place of pain that deepens my worship, develops my character and brings Glory to His name. Help me Lord Jesus be a self-portrait of YOU! Prayer has become the "breath in my lungs and the blood of my heart". "Praying without ceasing..." (1 Thessalonians 5:17). I admit I have a childlike faith. I want to be so one with God that I am not even aware of it. You see I have come to realize that prayer isn't just an exercise, it is the LIFE of a Saint. I am guilty of "watering down" prayer. Jesus taught us that to make it mean something it may not always align with our common sense. If it were only common sense, we would not be able to see and receive the supernatural truths He reveals to us.
Yes, the journey seems long. But soon very soon, God will bring joy and peace. I hold onto this hope and the promise that soon there will be a day when suffering disappears. When we face Jesus, and He will wipe away all tears and sorrow. There will be no more pain or fear. Sometimes the burdens feel so heavy, I am so weary, but I know God will (and is) lifting my burdens and ushering in beauty and joy!
This week God has captured my heart in a new and profound way through the death of many. Against all hope again He comes. He comes with raw courage as He captures my heart and gives me a glimpse of eternity for me and others that will join the journey with me. Thank you, Lord for breathing the hope of heaven into me. I am NOT AFRAID to die, but more important while I am here on earth, I am NOT AFRAID TO LIVE! I'm ALL YOURS!